Best Year Yet

By Betty Mahalik, Best Year Yet Partner 

This is a story I never tire of telling.  I tell it anytime I have the opportunity to — whether in a workshop, a coaching session, or a simple conversation with a friend.  I tell it because it’s an example of the power of positive prophecy.  And “positive prophecy” is how I define Question 4 in the Best Year Yet process.  This concept of positive prophecy became a part of my permanent mental/emotional operating system the first time I ever created a BYY plan.

The year was 1998.  That sounds like eons ago, doesn’t it?  I had been self-employed as a life coach and trainer for several years.  The problem was I was doing too little of either to earn a good living.  I was struggling, and I was fed up with it!  I was so tired of the struggle that I was seriously thinking about getting a J-O-B!  But as fate would have it, the coach I worked with at the time challenged me to come up with a theme for the year.  So as often happens we get some of best ideas when we least expect it — in the shower, at the grocery store, while driving around doing errands.  And indeed, the flash of insight that became my theme for the year came as I was driving home one gloomy afternoon.

It hit me like a bolt out of the blue!  My theme would be: “This is the best year of my life!”  Trust me, it had been anything but up to that point.  Nevertheless, like a good coaching client I wrote it down and shared it with my coach on the next call.  Not long after that I received one of those book club mailers promoting a new book club selection titled “Your Best Year Yet.”  I thought it was kind of ironic that my theme for the year was so close to the title of that book.  Hmmmm . . .

So I did what anyone would do next, right?  I ordered the book!!  And then I did two more amazing things:  1) I read it instead of letting it sit on the shelf waiting for a better time; 2) I actually completed my first Best Year Yet plan, using the workbook in the second half of the book.  You can probably guess what my empowering paradigm turned out to be.  That’s right: “This is the best year of my life!”

From that point forward I didn’t look back.  Every time I wanted to succumb to the old, dead-end negative prophecies like “This is too hard!” Or, “Maybe I should just go get a J-O-B!” my new paradigm kicked in.  There were times I could actually see those positive, prophetic words flashing like a neon sign on the Las Vegas Strip.  So whenever I wanted to quit or play victim, that positive prophecy was there, supporting me in seeing a more positive, fulfilling future for myself.  It helped me ask more effective questions like: 

 “If this were the best year of my life right now,
what would I be thinking and how would I be acting? 
What would I be doing?”

 And whatever the answers were to those questions I started doing them consistently.

It was later that year I began to reap the harvest of the positive paradigm I had created.  My business picked up—a lot!  My relationship with my husband and son improved.  I began getting the kind of results I knew somewhere deep down it was possible to get.  Something else happened as a result of that powerful, positive prophecy — I saw that Best Year Yet was a program that I wanted to share with others as part of my coaching and training practice.  So I reached out to Tim Ditzler to find out more about how to get trained to deliver BYY workshops.

I still have their telephone number at the time circled in my “classic” book club copy of Your Best Year Yet. 

And that positive, powerful prophecy is now an integral part of my internal operating system.  No matter what new positive paradigms I’ve written in the years since that first serendipitous discovery of BYY, at the foundation is the unshakeable belief that every year can be the best year of my life. 

Thank you Best Year Yet!

About Betty Mahalik

Betty Mahalik is a professional coach, trainer, facilitator and BYY partner who has been teaching people how to communicate effectively, enjoy life, manage stress and deal with change for more than 20 years.

A former television news reporter and anchorwoman, Betty worked for eight years in the field of public relations prior to starting her own business in 1987. For two-and-a-half years she served on the training staff of National Seminars, and has spoken before hundreds of audiences, large and small.

In January of 2009 her first book, Living a Five Star Life, was published by Simple Truths. To find out more about Betty, order a copy of her book, or to subscribe to Betty’s free weekly motivational message on Monday Morning Coach, visit her website at www.dynamic-coaching.com. Or contact her at (702) 658-4425 or bettym@dynamic-coaching.com.

I have a confession to make: I often (maybe always) make things harder than they have to be! No really, I do.  If there were a degree awarded for this one, I would have a PhD in MTH (making things hard)!  And I’ve discovered I have a lot of company from other high-achieving, goal-oriented folks.  Perhaps you’re one of them.

It’s a bad habit really, and one I’m working to let go of.  There’s always a pay-off when we make things harder than they have to be.  Sometimes the pay-off is a sense of pride in seeing how much we had to overcome (most of it self-imposed) to reach our goal.  Other times it’s the attention we generate in the form of: “Oh look how hard she’s working.  Isn’t that wonderful!”  Still other times we do it because we need the juice that comes from using adrenaline to push toward goals rather than using the natural energy that comes from being naturally drawn in the direction of our dreams and intentions.  And sometimes we just love the drama, which is really a combination of all of the above.

Do you recognize yourself in anything so far?  Perhaps you’ll notice one of your patterns in the following descriptions of favorite strategies for “making things harder than they have to be.”  Maybe you have a favorite racket that’s not listed here.  Read on and decide whether it’s time to surrender your MTH degree!

“It’s Complicated.” This pattern is characterized by the tendency to add extra unnecessary steps in order to either delay completion or feel self-satisfied about doing so much work.  It’s a tricky way to put off starting or completing a project.  This week instead of seeing how many extra steps something takes, see if you can get the same results by simplifying.  At the very least, quit telling yourself “it’s complicated”!

“It has to be perfect.” This is a close relative of #1.  Someone recently shared with me that when you play the perfectionist game you set the bar so high you force yourself to play “small” to insure you get under it.  Does that task or project really have to be perfect?  Few things do.  Decide what the standard is, then go for it.  As I have learned and often share with my coaching clients, imperfect and done beats perfect and undone every time.

“When-then.”  The “when-then” game is a way of promising to do something after you’ve completed 10 other things.  “When my children are grown, then I’ll pay attention to myself,” for example.  When-then makes things harder because you are setting up useless obstacles that serve one purpose:  putting off what you say you want to do.  Ask yourself a couple of powerful questions when you’re caught in the”when-then”  cycle:  How can I start taking action now on that promise or intention?  What am I avoiding by not acting on it now?  It’s really a game you made up.  You can change the rules.

“Unconscious patterns.” All of the above are patterns of behavior that have been conditioned over time.  Simply becoming aware of the unconscious patterns that are running your behavior is a huge step forward.  Become skilled at noticing when you’re acting out the various patterns of “making things harder.”  Often just noticing can help unhook you.  Usually however it is a combination of awareness and action that disconnects the MTH patterns. Use the powerful combination of awareness + action to shift the balance of power and get you moving forward.

Even if your particular variety of “MTH” is not mentioned here, you may still be aware that you’re making things much harder than they have to be.  The “world” isn’t judging you (trust me, most people are too busy running their own “MTH” racket to pay much attention to yours); you’re judging you.  Start this week to live from a new pattern, one that allows room for your humanity, humility and natural joy to show up. What a gift to give yourself and those around you-ease!

Now take a deep breath and look for next step.  It will be the easy one.

About Betty Mahalik

Betty Mahalik is a professional coach, trainer, facilitator and BYY partner who has been teaching people how to communicate effectively, enjoy life, manage stress and deal with change for more than 20 years.

A former television news reporter and anchorwoman, Betty worked for eight years in the field of public relations prior to starting her own business in 1987. For two-and-a-half years she served on the training staff of National Seminars, and has spoken before hundreds of audiences, large and small.

In January of 2009 her first book, Living a Five Star Life, was published by Simple Truths. To find out more about Betty, order a copy of her book, or to subscribe to Betty’s free weekly motivational message on Monday Morning Coach, visit her website at www.dynamic-coaching.com. Or contact her at (702) 658-4425 or bettym@dynamic-coaching.com.

There is probably not a word in use today that gets more “press” than “abundance.” Pick up an “O” Magazine and if it’s not on the cover, you’ll surely find an article or two inside explaining how to have greater “abundance”.

In the writings on the principles of attraction, the word abundance appears early and often. And in my coaching practice hardly a week goes by that I don’t have at least one conversation on the topic.

The dictionary defines abundance as: “a profusion” or “excess.” But I believe true abundance is really about much more than just having more stuff—whether stuff is money, possessions, or opportunities. At its core, abundance is about living with authenticity and joy. It is a mindset that acts as an antidote to the poison of scarcity, negativity and fear that runs rampant in our culture today. And when abundance becomes your central operating principle you can’t help but have more of the stuff so often associated with the word.

So how does one “generate abundance” and what is its connection with Best Year Yet? Well, as I’ve worked with BYY over the past decade, what I’ve seen and experienced personally is that Best Year Yet is truly about helping people to live authentically and joyfully — and providing them with tools to remove the roadblocks to abundance in its fullest sense.

The most profound shifts around abundance come from Questions 3 and 4 of the Best Year Yet basic planning workshop because they take our personal history, re-frame it, and empower us to create and project new visions of the future. When we create operating principles that align with the lessons learned along the way (Q3) and examine our beliefs and assumptions (Q4) we can learn to generate greater abundance for ourselves and others.

Everything for the Good
In asking “What have I learned?” and using our successes and disappointments as the points of inquiry, we can transform what has happened in our lives into action principles to keep us focused on generating abundance and attracting more of what we want. To me, the guidelines of Q3 act as the “bumpers” on the bowling lane of life. They keep us out of the gutters! They enable us to embrace our experiences and remind us that life is indeed a classroom and every experience is designed for our good. Talk about abundance!!

There are two other elements that generate a life of abundance. In their presence, life experiences, regardless of how difficult, are transformed into stepping stones. In their absence, life experiences can quickly become the stumbling blocks that keep us stuck and operating in scarcity. These two “sister” qualities are grace and gratitude. They are the golden keys that transform limiting beliefs and assumptions into empowering paradigms! And goals that have been shaped in the cauldron of grace and gratitude naturally and effortlessly generate greater abundance.

Grace, Gratitude and Goals
The words grace and gratitude often get cornered and cast in a strictly religious context. But their applications are truly universal.

Grace is defined as “unearned favor.” We can actually grant ourselves (and others) grace through the channel of forgiveness. Grace is the tonic that heals and releases us from our past. A wonderful writer and speaker, Tama Kieves, says it this way: “That which we have not released with love, we have not released.” Applied to Best Year Yet, when we acknowledge both the successes and disappointments, and then write guidelines based on our acquired wisdom we are using the power of grace to propel us into the future we desire. Without the gift of grace, we tend to repeat the same mistakes, carry the same griefs, prejudices, hurts and grievances into the future—not a good recipe for abundance!

Gratitude on the other hand is all about embracing the past and being thankful for the gifts it has brought us. It is also what enables us to see the present as a gifted teacher, through which we are learning the lessons that move us toward the future of our dreams.

Goals born from a sense of lack or unforgiveness tend to generate more of the same. For example: the person who sets a goal to “never be like so and so” from their past (notice a lack of grace and gratitude) actually sets themselves up to become exactly like so and so!

On the other hand, goals born from a sense of grace and gratitude generate more of a sense of abundance and joy. If my primary belief is that everything is for my good I am now free to choose an empowering interpretation of events past and present, which creates a positive focus that generates more of the positive things I want.

Old limiting paradigms are almost always based on a scarcity mindset. “I’m not enough. I don’t have enough. I can’t do anything about XYZ” for example. By applying the principle of “Everything for my good” and using the dynamic duo of grace and gratitude I am released from the fear, resentments, anger and pain that hold me hostage.

Best Year Yet provides a set of powerful tools for generating abundance and living with greater authenticity and joy. I and thousands of others, are living proof that used consistently, we can, as Thoreau wrote, “go confidently in the direction of our dreams, living the life we have imagined.”

About Betty Mahalik

Betty Mahalik is a professional coach, trainer, facilitator and BYY partner who has been teaching people how to communicate effectively, enjoy life, manage stress and deal with change for more than 20 years.

A former television news reporter and anchorwoman, Betty worked for eight years in the field of public relations prior to starting her own business in 1987. For two-and-a-half years she served on the training staff of National Seminars, and has spoken before hundreds of audiences, large and small.

In January of 2009 her first book, Living a Five Star Life, was published by Simple Truths. To find out more about Betty, order a copy of her book, or to subscribe to Betty’s free weekly motivational message on Monday Morning Coach, visit her website at www.dynamic-coaching.com. Or contact her at (702) 658-4425 or bettym@dynamic-coaching.com.

Happy 2010!!
Your 2010 Declaration

I’m breathing the fresh air of a new month, a New Year, and yes, a new decade.  And I’ve made a declaration that is already acting as a powerful catalyst in making great things happen this year.  This week I invite you to join me in declaring your intent for the New Year.

There is something powerful and empowering about making a declaration.  Think the Declaration of Independence…”We hold these truths to be self-evident…” It was on that declaration that a nation was founded.  In 1962, President John F. Kennedy declared: “We will put a man on the moon by the end of the decade.” In July of 1969 that declaration of intent became true in fact.

For you and me, the New Year is a perfect time to write a declaration of intent for the next 12 months.  I just went through the annual Best Year Yet planning process and have emerged feeling confident that 2010 will absolutely, unequivocally be my best year yet—I declare it!!  I hold this truth to be self-evident:  that this year will be my very best yet, regardless of the economy, regardless of circumstances because I am committed to making the best of anything and everything that happens!  I am committed to making courageous decisions and taking decisive action toward the goals I’ve set.

I’m ready, how about you?  What will you declare to be self-evident in the next 12 months?

I dare you…no I double-dare you to state something big, bold and outrageous for yourself this year.  Declare some truth to be self-evident…something you haven’t dared to breathe let alone declare until this moment.

Do you want to declare yourself free of…

• Illness
• Debt
• Underemployment
• Unemployment
• Relationship issues
• Boredom
• Fatigue
• Failure

Do you want to declare yourself ready to embrace…

• Health
• Abundance
• Courage
• Clarity
• Creativity
• Freedom
• Success
• A new job
• A new house
• A new life

Your declaration may be in the form of an inspiring theme.  Ten years ago, coming off of a very mediocre year, I declared, “This is the best year of my life!” Not surprisingly, it turned out to be true.  That was the year I discovered the Best Year Yet program.  That year I made more money and attracted more new opportunities than I had before.  That year my relationships improved.  That year my focus and commitment improved.  That theme became my self-fulfilling prophecy.

Your declaration might simply be a powerful completion to this statement:  “This is the year of (fill in the blank with whatever word best describes what you see for yourself)!”

I absolutely believe…no I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that each and every one of us is one choice away from turning our lives in the direction that is in perfect alignment with our highest, best thoughts, goals, dreams, and intentions.  It starts with your declaration that this is the moment, the hour, day, week, month, year, decade for that highest and best to happen!

I invite you to be the prophet in your own life.  Declare your intention for 2010 now and then start making that truth self-evident.

Happy New Year!

Quote of the Week

“We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.”

~~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Success Strategies for YOU!

So you’re ready to make that declaration but need some support in creating a plan, sticking to it or staying inspired and motivated?  I have three recommendations to help you move forward with confidence, power and a plan in 2010:

Best Year Yet: This has become my goal-setting roadmap over the past decade, and has helped me achieve more and enjoy life more than any other tool I’ve ever used.  Create your own one-year plan and then track it weekly, monthly and quarterly.  Two options to choose from:

Best Year Yet Basic—Create the plan on line, use the on-line support tools to help you stay motivated and track progress. Click here to register.

Best Year Yet Advanced—All of the above, plus one-hour personal BYY coaching call. Click here to register.

My Life Compass: A map is great, but it takes a compass to keep you moving in the right direction!!  With Compass, coaching is affordable and accessible.  You choose the life area you want to focus on each month; choose the amount of support that’s right for you; choose the coaching plan that fits.  In short you choose success!! www.mylifecompass.com/bmahalik.

Simple Truths: Choose from a collection of more than 50 inspiring books, all designed to be read in less than two hours!!  Inspiration is like the yeast in the bread of life and nobody does inspiration better than Simple Truths!! Find out more about Simple Truths